On the Weekend of the 23rd and the 24th of May 2015, I and two others travelled to the MCM London Comic Con at the Excel, London's only International Convention Centre. There we were met with women dressed in next to nothing, wearing tight clothing and dodgey hairstyles and half naked men with six packs drawn onto their stomachs running amock through the many levels and stalls. Occasionaly a topless person in costume would walk by and they wouldn't be completely disgusting to look at, or a costume would be done so well that you think they could have been in the film, TV series/programmes or comic book franchise that they had come dressed as. However, because of the quite exessive amount of nudity, all of those people, who attended Comic Con in London without the appropraite skin-covering apparel, must be melted with acid and then fed to a family of Raccons on Cocaine.
But those moments where a costume went right, were rare indeed. For throughout this weekend, as enjoyable as it was, my eyes were treated to such sights as:
A Katniss Everdeen who had bulges in all the wrong places and who has now changed the way I watch the Hunger Games franchise entirely.
I CAN NEVER LOOK AT HER IN THE SAME WAY AGAIN. EVER. TILL THE DAY THE WORLD ENDS. EVEN MY DREAMS WILL HAVE NIGHTMARES ABOUT WHAT I SAW, BECAUSE I HAVE SEEN...DARKNESS! |
Doctor Who's Michele Gomez character of Missy who was, well...
There were a small number of Panels that I attended during the weekend, including one with four members of the cast of Arrow. These included John Noble and Ian De Caestecker and Nick Blood from Agents Of Shield. This was by far my favourite panel with both members being amusing and entertaining to the end, even if they were15 or so minutes late and looked decidedly hangover.
Ian De Caestecker on the left and Nick Blood on the right. The only Completely British Panel. And the best, so make of that what you will. |
Admittedly the stench of a few thousand people dressed up as comic book characters, was both off-putting, sickening and does tend make you think certain dark and abusive thoughts. And I admit that all those Thor look-a-likes had me screaming such things as, 'Put some clothes on for goodness sake! You do not look like Thor. You will never look like Thor and you never have looked like Thor!' Though to be honest I would tell the real Thor to put some more clothes on also. That level of exposed arm is just ridiculous. And to be in a Cinema where a Marvel film is showing and a male character such as Thor exposes even a forearm, just makes me want to take a machete to every single non-lesbian or asexual woman in the audience as they sigh in desire and gape in hapiness.
No, no what are you doing? Why are you doing that with your face? STOP SMILING AND GO AND HAVE A DAMN WASH! YOU LOOK FILTHY FOR GOODNESS SAKE! |
At last, A naked blue shapeshifter woman with a bit of dignity. |
As well as this I was forced to put on a little paper bracelet that would allow me entrance to the building if ever I left. And that one bracelet, that one little tiny strip of paper took 43 whole minutes to remove once I was back at my permanent place of residence. Or House for those of the simple folk.
However there was an upside to this day, such as coming out of Comic Con with a whole load of Doctor who related riches as well as having a photograph taken with Seventh Doctor star and The Hobbit actor Sylvester McCoy.
And So, to sum up, this year at the MCM Comic Weekend, I was surrounded by brilliant costumes, entertaining panel shows, adrenaline, excitement and a whole heap of happiness and it sickened me to my core and made me go onto google maps and choose a suitable and adequate cliff to jump off.
However that still won't stop me from going again next year, I bought a whole lot of stuff. And got pictures taken with Science-Fiction Icons so I intend to do so again at several later dates
I have chosen my cliff. It is both suitable and adequate |
However that still won't stop me from going again next year, I bought a whole lot of stuff. And got pictures taken with Science-Fiction Icons so I intend to do so again at several later dates
Also one person was dressed like this, so...make of that what you will.
I'm Old Greg! If you do not know who Old Greg really is, then you have not lived. |
It's... not even from a comic book.
Full versions of the panels are available online if you know where to search. But this one was my favourite because not only was it funny but also I was ACTUALLY THERE! HA!
You of course do not have to watch the whole thing. In fact I do not even think you would be sane If you did but there you go.
Photograph of Mystique features Corine Walker and is not mine. This image belongs to MCM Comic Con London as does the video above.