Not Dr Who Related But She's Paying Me A Fiver To Write This Post.

(Mutters to self) I don't even know why i'm doing this. I don't even like the woman.

Happy Birthday Mother. Today is a special day and i wish you nothing but plague and pestilence

 many hardships happy returns.

As i watch you shaving your mustache and plucking at your nasal hairs, i found myself extraordinarily grateful

that social services and Childline, have played a major part in my upbringing. Mother, and I use the term loosely, there will never be another like you. Which is probably a good thing as the human race would die out due to your energetic skills as a sloth.

You are not perfect, no one is...oh yes, apart from me of course, but you have given me anger issues much love and patience and i am happy that you have chosen me as your child...for no one else would have you.

Happy Birthday Mother, and i wish you dead a wonderful day.

Spawn.