Whovians Enter Here...

Whovians Enter Here...

16 August 2015

Doctor Who: Villains Of The Whoniverse:Part Five


Story: The Happiness Patrol
Year: 1988
Doctor faced:The Seventh
Companion faced: Ace

Played By Sheila Hancock

On the planet Terra Alpha, Helen A rules as the psychotic dictator who kills and records the deaths of unhappy people. She sets up the Happiness patrol, a bunch of stuck-up, uptight women dressed almost entirely in pink. and their job is to eliminate or arrest the Killjoys, otherwise known as depressed people or the sad.
Pink TARDIS. Why? Just Why? What could possibly justify this?

Helen A goes about things with an eerie calmness, always smiling and yet despite being constantly happy and acting just a little bit high, I cannot help but feel a certain level of respect for this woman. This remarkable woman has various methods of executing people, from the firing squad, to the fondant surprise, which entails drowning people in an enclosed tube full of strawberry fondant. Not the most effective method of death but points for it being the most creative.
Meanwhile, Trevor Sigma, in charge of the Galactic Census Bureau, has noticed and recorded the disappearances on a list that is over 5 metres long, which he shows the Doctor.

Trevor Sigma

Also in association with Helen A is the Kandyman, A being who will change the way that people think of Bertie Bassetts forever. This psychotic and quite clearly deranged massive sweetie man, is a Bio-Mechanoid made up of both cybernetics for the mechanical part and sugars and acids for the organic part, and here's the best part. He makes sweets that kill people.
Sweets that are so good that the human body just simply cannot cope with all the not Nestle then.
Slightly disgusting but at the same time a certainly unorthodox method of killing people.

Helen A doesn't feel sadness at first but she does feel irritation and anger which she has to hide very well from the rest of the Happiness Patrol, although I don't know why because every single other member of the Happiness Patrol and in fact every other employee of Helen A's on the planet Terra Alpha, is even more miserable than she is.
The Happiness Patrol
However at the very end of the Story after her husband leaves her and favourite and most beloved creature in existence, her pet is killed, she realises the importance of sadness and grieves over the loss of her stiff, two foot long growling rat-dog-concoction that she called Fifi. This is the moment where I stop having any for of respect for Helen A as she starts exhibiting such pointless emotions as sadness

Top image and Kandyman images copyright last of the Zolfa Thurans and its creator who goes by the name of Master Meglos


  1. When I read towards the end. . . her stiff, two foot long growling rat-dog-concoction that she called Fifi. . . . . . . . . I realised that you were not entirely impressed by the beast and may have felt that it was for the best. Somewhere in my head I have visions of this but it might just be that I ate Liquorish Allsorts back then and have a confused mind. I think I ate Dolly Mixture too . . . . Well a chap has to do these things

  2. Ah, Mr Tobor, you should never eat Liquorish Allsorts. Ever. They are just wrong. The quintessence of evil.
    Dolly Mix however are perfectly acceptable, except for the brown ones that taste of nothing. I did not approve of the beast known as Fifi, no.
    It deserved everything that it had coming to it. It was drowned in strawberry fondant, but that was a death that was just slightly too...tasty for such a creature.
    It should have died slowly. Slowly and very, very painfully...

  3. Thanks for the share. We just love this show so much. Every season gets better and better. Hope your having a wonderful start to your weekend.
    World of Animals