And now human slaves, I bring to you one of the greatest threats that television and indeed the universe has ever faced. For this enemy, unlike most other Doctor Who Monsters, creatures and Villains, is most certainly real and exists among us today.
Billie Piper's Teeth.
For years, now they have continued to both terrify, puzzle and amuse the people of Earth as well as Whovians everywhere. These quite hostile beings seem to be slowly taking over Miss Piper's mouth, slowly growing and growing and growing and recently, glowing, until...well, it's just too hideous to contemplate.
It is believed that the possessions began when miss Piper released that musical poison "Because We Want To" in the earth year commonly known as nineteen hundred and eighty-eight.
It was then, that the entire world knew that there was no limit to her insanity and of the awesomely dangerous power of the molars.
In 2004 Miss Piper was hired to play the new Doctor Who companion. She was the first onscreen ally of the Doctor since 1996 and the companion who would fall in love with him
Via the power of Hypno, Billie tricked Show-runner Russell T. Davis into giving her the job and I bet he's regretted it ever since. Because for years, decades even, the nation were paralyzed by fear. People all across the world, pointed at her image in utter disgust, shouting and screaming: 'Who is this pathetic cockney, caterwauling hound of hell who has dared to pollute my prime-time televisual entertainment with her sickening love filth?' And if they didn't then they should have.
Throughout her time on the TARDIS, it gradually became clear that those Teeth of hers were in fact, growing and beginning to have an impact on the overall look of her entire face. Around the mouth became pushed out somewhat and all...well, see for yourself.
Since marrying Laurence Fox of the esteemed Fox family, Piper herself now isn't speaking all Chavey and Cockney-like and has instead, developed a sort of posh accent... of sorts. This is a clear indicator that Miss Piper is now dead and is in fact, being controlled by the Teeth